Evaluation Post

I feel that my thesis project was very successful.  I got a great grade on my paper and have some useful feed back to explore and discuss.  I wanted my audience to feel immersed.  There were many facets to my project that aided the effect of the performance.  The most obvious is the connection to water.  My painting is about a spiritual transition. The act of drowning in water alone describes that very easily.  Most people saw religious undertones in my figuration.  There was a literal connection between water the Miserere text.  Vox performed this piece from multiple places in the gallery, creating a live surround sound.  

As far as the actual live performance, it was very difficult to present that atmosphere due to the conditions of the opening.  There were so many people there! So naturally, everyone was talking and of course loudly.  This made it an awkward performance for us because we couldn’t see or hear each other.  It was also upsetting that many of the people that were talking were my own classmates. 

I was told that the atmosphere of the gallery was eerie and effective.  At first people were frustrated with the background noise, but after a few minutes, people found it powerful and effective.    I believe that my goal of emersion was achieved.

The feedback I got was generally really good.  The only complaint I had was the background noise, but it was clear that I could not control that.  Most people really liked the wrinkles in the canvas. There are only a few people that were not really connecting to them, and they were usually artists.  It seemed to be an aesthetic issue. 

A few of my professors have questioned its connection to contemporary life and art.  My one prof. told me that my work is disconnected from the past 200 years.  I find this frustrating because I feel very pigeon-holed by my thesis project.  I think that people react to my project/art differently than everyone else’s work because it doesn’t have any societal agendas.  My work doesn’t talk about the same issues as most artists as well as people.  However, just because my work is different does not mean that it’s not in conversation with my contemporaries.  For one, unlike popular belief, my work has nothing to do with subjective religion.  If anything, it is more about spirituality, but that’s still not the point.  My only message is that God is there whether you believe it or not.  People have trouble accepting that it is that simple.  My work is not about Christianity, neither is it about all the complexities of religion within society.  It just so happens that my Christian nature manifests in my work.  I deliberately do not discuss these things because I feel that this one message is the most important thing in the world.  It is the only thing that inspires my paintings.  This work is both relevant and valuable today because I believe that most people in this world miss the ultimate truth in life because they let themselves get distracted by societal trends and preoccupations.  Not many people’s works have the same point to it.  I think I’m sort of I’m my own little category.

I think work is just as relevant visually.  I have a very well rounded set of skills and paint with a variety of styles.  I render tightly as well as blur and abstract the image.  I feel that this is a very progressive way of figuration with which not many contemporary artist experiment.  I feel that most of art society stopped working with similar concepts in the early 20^th century.  I have a very abstract way of painting that compares to the style of the old masters.  I think that my art is a new development and a new direction for contemporary art to go, especially in the world of performance art and the theatrical aspects of it.  I don’t think that it is fair for my professors to scrutinize my work because people are preoccupied with societal isms surrounding the subject matter with which my work has nothing to do.  My works all about telling people the truth as purely as I can. 

One artist with whose work mine has much in common is Bill Viola.  Both he and I use water to portray a spiritual message or image.  I don’t know if he gets his inspiration the way I do though, and my reason for creating is probably the main reason why I even paint at all.  A good example of one of his works is The Crossing, 1996.  This video installation describes purification as a spiritual transition.  On an aesthetic level, the color pallet is every similar to that of my thesis painting- lots of contrast between black and grey blue.

Over all, I believe that my thesis was very successful and I really don’t think I could have done anything better than I did.  I am very satisfied with how it went over.  As moving forward,  I’ve already completed one painting and currently have two underway.  I’m going into a completely new direction with my painting and I think I’m doing very well.  I feel like I’m about to go through another learning spree.  I’m moving away from literal water connections but there will still always be traces of my aquatic rendering.  I’m excited to create new work over the summer and start studying again in the fall.

Message to Marc

Hey Marc,
      I've been thinking about our talk on on Thursday and I think i've figured out some really valuable things.  Remember I was about to start that painting on Thursday evening? Well, I started and finished it in about 3 hours.  I feel like it is a direct response to our talk and I feel a lot of relief. I didn't have any resource images or anything; it was completely intuitive paintinting. I figured out why I paint-  it is my first instinct.  Before I knew how to speak or write when I was a kid, I knew color and how communicate with it. It is the only way I can truly express or articulate exactly what I want to without any trouble at all. The brush is just a portal for it all to come out.  The brush litterally feels like an extra long extention of my heart and my brain.  And people reinforce that all the time when they talk to me about my paintings.  I don't think I 've ever come across someone who hasn't gotten the point I wanted them to in my paintings, at least in the past 2 years or so (when my paintings actually started to mean something).  I've done some sculpture and photo, but I never felt that same connection that I feel with painting.  To paint is a natural reaction that has been going on since I was born.
     I was super inspired by the Peter Saul lecture too.  It was very encouraging to hear a successful famous artist say that he just relaxes and paints, letting his imagination take over.  Now, I don't necessarilly use my imagination the same way as he does, but I feel like I do the same thing.  I don't over think my work- I just relax and do it, which is how I got my painting out on Thursday.  I'm really excited for you to see it!  When I do start to over-think, I start to feel a shallow connection to it, like I'm just painting to paint and not to communicate.
     I also realized something about my subject matter.  This doesn't really apply to a lot of the paintings that I have been making, but I've been thinking about this for easily 10 years.  I'm seeing it come through in my thesis and now with this new painting.  I'm interested in different settings and arrangements of subjects that have been painted for hundreds of years.  For example,  my thesis painting is a combination setting of "the Transfiguration" and "the Last Judgement".  This new painting is a "Decent from the Cross".  I've also had this idea of a "Birth of Venus" brewing in my head for a few months, but I'm not ready to do it yet.  This is something that I do in music too.  All of the pieces that I sing are always settings of particular texts that have been used by  different composers from many different centuries.  For example,  there are tons of other musical settings of the same exact text from my thesis in multiple languages.  I've always been intersted in throwing my own settings into the mix (which is one thing I definitely accomplished with my thesis, esspecially musically). I'd like to do a "Man of Sorrows" in the near future. 
Anyway, what do you think of all this?  I wanted to send you this on thursday night when I go home, but I got swamped with life and didn't have time to sit and write until right now.  I also wanted to let you know that my wheels are turning a mile a minute and I'm feelin' groovy...  If you want to check out the painting before I get a chance to talk to you, it's in my studio.
Thanks for all of you wonderful help and guidance,
Diana
ps- I'm taking my mom so see you show on Monday!

Guest Critic Review

My review today was good but strange.  She listened to the piece while looking at the painting. At one point she sat down on the floor.  She loved the music, she said it was very beautiful.  The first thing that struck her was how balanced the visual aspect was with the audio aspect.  Then she describe her overall experience and what she got out of it.  This part was interesting to me because she understood the concept of my project very well and it seemed that her experience was exactly what I hoped for. We talked mostly ablout the performance aspect. She didn't really seem too enthused about the painting.  She didn't think that it really need to be that large and I tried to explain the connection to the "Last Judgement".  Also she was reluctant to really talk about it at all.  She made a comment along the lines of "we might as well talk about it because you worked so hard on it."  That was weird...  We sat on the floor and she gave me her basic read of the image and what she thought about it.  That was all good stuff.  Again, she really did get everything out of it that I hoped she would.  But then it got wierd- she said that I was cleary very serious about the music and the performance and that it seemed like I was also passionate about painting but she didn't want to be the person to tell me to quit painting and get into video.  I must have looked at her like she had ten heads.  I did not know what to do with that, so I just accepted it and we moved on in our conversation.  I never would have axpected anyone to tell me to quit painting.  That makes no sense to me.  All in all, she thought the project was quite epic and powerful.  She said she wished that it had its own private space so that the viewer could have a more private and spiritual experience.  She said that there was so much potential there for the project, but what held it back from its full effect was its setting, which I could not do anything about.  It was useful to hear an outsiders view of the project.  I definitely do not agree that I should quit painting for any reason, and I am having trouble keeping myself from feeling offended. I do not like to take things personally and I don't believe critiques should ever be taken personally.  I was just very suprised.

The Opening Reception

I have a lot of mixed feelings about how the opening reception went.  I am quite happy with the musical performance. Vox Fidelis delivered beautifully dispite all of the background noise.  I couldn't hear the cantors or the main choir from where I was because of it.  We ended up doing just fine, but all of the comotion around us made it so very difficult.  there were two types of audience members: people who were completely engulfed by it and people who blatently ignored everything and tried to talk over it.  Those were the people that were mostly by me in the corner of the gallery.  At the time, it felt as though no one was listening at all.  But once we had finished, I was able to see just how many people were packed into the main gallery, all listening.  There was probably close to 200 people in there.  I've been told that it sounded wonderful and that it was a powerful performance.  Even though my experience was the exact opposite of that, I've been assured that it ended coming off how I hoped it would.   I was very upset to see that many of my very own classmates were some of the main culperates of the epic background noise.  I'm disappointed that they didn't give it any time or attention.  However,  I was very touched by all my classmates who did listen!  I was so happy to finally be able to share it with everyone.

Crtitique 3, Semester 2

My final critique was the most useful one I've had all year.  My painting was finished and rolled out on the floor so we could see the whole thing at once. I generally got great reactions.  I asked everyone if they felt having access to the history on the music and stuff is valuable to the experience of the audience.  They were all emphatic that it is.  So I decided to make a pamphlet for the opening and a poster with some information as well as the text and translation.  I also decided to translate the Latin text myself on account that I have not been able to find one that I like.  I also explained the basic coreography of the performance, as well as our concert dress.  Everyone was encouraging and extremely helpful.  I left that critique feeling very confident. 

Critique 2, Semester 2

  Jim was not in class  due to a applicant portfolio review.  In his place was another grad student, Allen.  I used this crit to give everyone a briefing on the structure of the music and its purpose.  I brought a recording of the music as well as copies of the score and my ornamentation manuscript.  This was a very difficult crit because no one in my crit group knew anything at all about music, let alone Sixteenth century renaissance polyphony! On top of that, poor Allen didn't know anything about my project at all!!  I did my absolute best at filling him in what I could while explaining the history and technicality of the piece as well as its connection to the painting. It started out well, but everyone lost their attention span very quickly. Plus we were down in the undergrad studios, so there were lots of noisy people around.  So, everyone stopped listening to me and started talking to everyone else in the other studios. It was a bit frusterating.  Allen didn't have any real feed back for me.  I know that he felt very overwhelmed by it all.  I also don't really think he understood it.  Its not really his fault though because there wasn't nearly enough time to supply him with the necessary information in order to be able to really be constructive.  I'm also going  to go ahead and say that I probably could have done a better job explaining.  My crit ended very abruptly: Allen claped his hands and said "Well, I think it's break time for me."  The next thing I knew everyone was up and out of my studio in a flash.  Needless to say, I came out of the crit not to particularly happy.  I feel like it was a wast of time for all of us and it made me feel insecure.

Critique 1, Semester 2

My first thesis critique of the semester went very well.  This was Jim's first time hearing about my project, so most of the discussion was an over all explanation to him, which most people had heared before. Nevertheless, everyone seemed excited to hear about and see the work I had started.  I had assembled my general work station and had a few figures nearly finnished.  People were mainly just asking about my process and general plan of action.  Jim seemed to understand the whole concept of my project very well and interested in following its development.  I didn't really get any constructive criticism  as far as suggestions and things, but  what I did get was support and reassurance which is what I feel I need the most. Even though I'm confidant in my project,  I still have many insecurities that the whole thing is really confusing to the audience.  I'm being told that it is all very clear right now, so I'm feeling good about that.  I hope that I will now be able to put away some of that distracting anxiety so that I dont fuss about over working things.  I feel good in my direction and feel like to will be a smooth execution.